Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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