i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
