I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
