You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize