i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
