Need sex. Gaining weight.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
