My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Randomize
