I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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