Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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