i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
