Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Do you still have your period?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize