How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
