On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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