Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
