Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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