ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
where are my eyebrows?
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