4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
