worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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