how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
PANTIES FOUND
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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