I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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