I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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