Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
