The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
