We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
