i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
