Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize