I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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