Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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