Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I DEMAND FORESKIN
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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