your parents love me but you hate me
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
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