Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."

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(785): View more from Kansas

You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.

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(989): View more from Michigan

did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know

(1-989): View more from Michigan

no

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(606): View more from Kentucky

Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.

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(615): View more from Tennessee

all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident

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(518): View more from New York

You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops

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(850): View more from Florida

There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce

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