Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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