Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
