im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
