Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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