why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize