Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
