Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
