Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
