You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
