You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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