I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
