haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Couch. On fire.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
