i just google imaged poop.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
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