Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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