I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My feet surprised me
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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