So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize