i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
