I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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