I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
