You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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