Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
