i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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