I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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