Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
