He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
And then my night got REAL pukey
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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