I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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