Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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