Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
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